Image Of The Week #7

The Japanese Ant and Dec!

Umbrella - The Movie

Umbrellas are everywhere.
Unescapable. Unavoidable. And un-livable(!?) without.

In the rain, people use them. In the sun, they're used too. All this umbrella business has been making me think, to and from work everyday, that there must be a movie in here somewhere.
And then it hit me:

Look at a sort of post-democratic 'V for Vendetta/Aeon Flux'-type world where some anarchists are the last stand against the evils of elitism. The central character's main trait is that he takes down the bad guys with an assortment of umbrellas:

As a Weapon -
-In arm to arm combat, made of steel.
-Turns into a gun (the spike is the exit)
-Shoots a web from the spindles around it.
-Shoots darts from the spindles around it.
-Shoots electric stunners from the spindles around it.
-An explosive one.

As Defence -
-A solid one which withstands bullets.

As Transport -
-To float down from a high building holding onto the handle.
-To slide across a rope by the handle (holding onto the spike).
-To sail downstream by sitting inside it (it would be comfortable).

As Protection -
-From the rain of course, d'uh.

I need a name, a title and then I'm basically there.
Any more ways to use the umbrellas?

No! Can it be? Really?

It's scary, no?!

I know this has nothing to do with Japan but it's my blog and I can do what I like

Never Leave Home Without One

An umbrella, that is.

Japan is the country where if you had to carry around one thing with you always and forever, it would be an umbrella. It was boiling last night and this morning; the most humid weather I've ever felt. And at 4pm it changed. The sky loomed black and the thunder and lightning began. It's only just stopped, at 10pm. Six hours of lightning and heavy rain! With no umbrella, I walked home and got drenched.

Never again.

More Eurovision Wackiness

Methinks there was another country not taking Eurovision seriously:

Lithuania - We Are The Winners

Worst. Celebrity. Baby. Name. Ever.

You thought Apple Martin was bad. Geri Halliwell's latest offering:

BLUEBELL MADONNA HALLIWELL.

Some Things Go Together So Well

I just found out that my two favourite musicians are touring together. There's rumours of Japan on the tour. How awesome would that be.

KT Tunstall – Cherry Tree (First Ever Performance)
KT Tunstall – I Want You Back (Live)

David Ford – State Of The Union (One Take)

They both use the 'wee bastard pedal'. Love it.

NOVA Students Say The Stupidest Things #8

Discussing new hobbies:

Student 1: I’d like to take up swimming.
Student 2: To get in shape?
Phil: Moving on, what about you?
Student 2: I’d like to practice my photography.
Phil: Oh cool, what do you want to take pictures of?
Student 2: Ladies on the beach. They never come out very well.

So Much For My Happy Ending - And The List Just Keeps Getting Longer

True Love Sucks:

*Romeo and Juliet
*Dawson and Joey
*Britney and Justin
*Miles and Anna
*Paul and Heather
*Buffy and Angel
*Kate and Pete
*Sheryl and Lance
*Tom and Nicole
*Tristan and Isolde
*Ennis and Jack
*Ann and King Kong

and now:
*Alais and Guilhem
*Ryan and Marissa

It never works out.

Maybe, Jesse and Celine. Just maybe...

I've Found A New Hero

Sadly, I missed Eurovision, but from what I've read, Eurovision missed out too. As you may know, some countries get automatic entrance to the finals (monetary reasons) and some compete in the semi-finals to select the last ten countries for the finals.

This year, the Icelandic entrant 'Silvia Night' just missed out on the top ten. Here is her entry:

Video – Silvia Night - Congratulations

Missing out by a few points, Silvia Night went mad (there's a lot of swearing):

Video – Silvia Night Goes Crazy

Ok ok, the actual truth is that this is all a big lie. Silvia Night is a character, in the same line as Ali G. But the actress is absolutely fantastic in the role. The big joke was that although there were boo's in the semi-finals for her, these were all the other entrants who believed she was for real.

Actually, the funniest thing is that the song itself is very Euro-pop, maybe too close to the truth of what Eurotrash really sounds like, but features incredible lines such as "Oh my god, a golden shower" and "Hello, is it god? What's up dawg? It's me, Silvia Night, your favourite person in the world. I'm saving the world!". Here are the lyrics:

Hey you, looking at me, I'm talking to you
I'm Silvia Night shining in the light -- I know you want me too
Born in Reykjavik in a different league -- no damn eurotrash freak
The vote is in, I'll freakin' win
To bad for all the others

So congratulations I have arrived
I'm Silvia Night and I'm shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
You've been waiting forever
For me to save you

Wham bam boom
My song's totally cool no yesterday's news
Really hot okay, really not too gay
I'm coming here to stay
Want a piece of me, listen carefully
You'll be D.E.A.D.
So boys and girls around the world,
Let's meet next year in Iceland

So congratulations I have arrived
I'm Silvia Night and I'm shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dream's coming true
You've been waiting forever
For me to save you

Oh my god, a golden shower

Hello is it god? What's up dog?
It's me, Silvia Night, your favourite person in the world
I'm saving the world
See you...bye

So congratulations I have arrived
I'm Silvia Night and I'm shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
You've been waiting forever
For me to save you

So congratulations I have arrived
I'm Silvia Night and I'm shining so bright
Eurovision nation your dreams will come true
Vote for your hero that's what you must do
I love you my European children

However, my favourite line has to be the beginning of the chorus "Congratulations, I have arrived". That has to be the funniest line I've ever heard. And people took it seriously. Too bad she didn't make it. I think she would've won. Especially when you see what did win:


The more I read about Silvia Night, the more I love her, and all her craziness. To top it all off, she's huge in Japan; everyone loves her here. One of the funniest things she's done is stole the show from Treble (the Dutch entrants this year) on the Icelandic version of 'This Morning'. Watch to the end when she takes over the song. Oh, and that's her 'boyfriend', the sexily-voiced Romariioooo:

Video - Treble In Iceland

"Did you puke? You look a bit sick", "I will just skip you, cause you are from another country and don't know musical notes". Brilliant. You can see why the other contestants hated her. Shame she didn't get to the finals and win.

The actress who plays her is actually very pretty in real life, Agusta Eva. She's only 22! This is her with her band, Ske:


And she has a nice voice. This is from an Icelandic tv show where famous musicians and band members team up to write songs and compete with other made-up groups (good idea, no?). Quite a nice little song:

Video – Agusta Eva Singing

Unlike those people who take it seriously (e.g. Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton), this sh*t seriously is b-a-n-a-n-a-s. The world needs more people like her.

Caption This Competition #1 - Winners

Wow, what a response. Having sifted through all of the entries, I've carefully selected the top 3. In first place, drum roll please:

Oli - "Does my bum look big in this?"

Second place:
Bethan - "Frank lost his cool when Dave pointed out that maybe green wasn't his colour..."

And in third:
Oli - "2 big Japanese guys tangle over the ownership of 2 huge lines of cocaine"

Well done Oli, for not only winning but appearing twice in the top 3. Sorry to everyone who didn't make it, but thanks for trying.

Random Observation #6

I was teaching a new student about family relationships, and really struggled with something. We have collective terms for family members:

Your mum and dad are your 'parents' and you are their 'children'.
Your brothers and sisters are your 'siblings'.
There are 'grandparents' and 'grandchildren'. There are even 'cousins'.
Yet you just have an aunt and uncle.

There seems like there should be a collective term for aunt and uncle. There is in other languages. hmm?

Catch-Up

I thought I’d write a little entry on here because I’ve been quite busy lately. It hasn’t been that great a week, but I’m not going to turn this into a ‘Dear Diary’ moment. But the truth of it is that I’ve been a bit fluey, a bit depressed by the rain and a little uninspired. The rain finally stopped today, after seven days, but this is only a little taster; the rainy season kicks in mid-June. For a month.

On a more exciting, albeit worrisome, note I felt my first earthquake yesterday. It lasted about ten seconds and rattled the doors at work, but wasn’t a big deal. The ‘big one’ is still on its way. Which reminds me, has bird flu disappeared? I never hear or read anything of it now.

My housemates are being jerks. Bruce, I’m not surprised about but Steve isn’t that nice a guy when you get to his core. The other night, I was cleaning my teeth about 11pm and he barged into the bathroom with his laundry. We’re not supposed to use the washing machine after 9pm because they thud and vibrate the floor. A new couple have just moved in below us with a one year old daughter. I told him not to put it on as it wasn’t fair on the girl. He said that it wasn’t loud (which it is – his room is on the other side of the flat) and that “a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do”. I should’ve punched him but I carried on brushing.

I guess you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth. There’ll be happy sailing again because I’m planning a trip away. I need your help, however.

Next week I will go away overnight. Weather permitting, do I:
a) Go three hours north to Nikko, where it’s cultural and they have the “hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil” monkeys. Or,
b) Oshima Island, a small island two hours south of Tokyo which is basically a dormant volcano on the sea, with hikes and ‘freshest of fresh’ fish restaurants.
Unlike the American election system, every vote counts.

Jody and I just stuck on Aladdin, and the video says “a 1992 production”. 14 years ago! That’s ridiculous!

Oh, this is the view from the bridge I cross every day. It's pretty cool, and supposedly you can see Mount Fuji from it on a good day.

Random Observation #5

I hear Big Brother started last night. As you can see, Japan wasn't a big undercover lie only for me to appear on it. (Uni people - do you remember we thought Alan was going to be on it, especially when he disappeared!)

All I'll say is that there's supposedly someone with Tourettes on it this year. Is that clever? Entertaining? Wankers.

Random Observation #4

I watched The Truman Show a few nights ago. Apart from it being a fantastic film and, along with Eternal Sunshine, showing that Jim Carrey is a good actor when he stays away from slapstick comedy, it always made me paranoid.

I'm sure everyone else considered whether it could be possible, and the world around you is a fake reality. However, coming here kind of rubbishes any notion of that; it would be impossible to set this all up.

But in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

Caption This Competition #1

Self-explanatory really.

I hear there are a lot of anonymous readers. Time to give something back by participating.

Happy Birthday Grandma

(taken in Asakusa, April 6th)

NOVA Students Say The Stupidest Things #7

(Actually, this should be ‘Scariest Things’.
Student is an old woman in a man-to-man lesson.)

Student: I watched you in Musashi-kosugi station last week.
Phil: I’m sorry?
Student: You like bread.
Phil: What?
Student: I watched you buy cake.
Phil: Umm, were you stalking me?
(She just stares)
Phil: Why didn’t you say hello?
Student: Because I can’t speak English.

Happy Cream Egg Day!

Thank you Gem so much for the Cream Eggs you sent in the post. What a lovely delayed Easter it was. And no, they didn't explode in the air! x x

Working The Magic

I managed (don't ask how) to put the Hakone entries in an easier-to-read order. So if you have read Parts 1 and 2, 3 is now below them.