NOVA Students Say The Stupidest Things #37

A rather long post, but worth it.
While discussing how to tell anecdotes:

Phil: I'd like you to tell me about a time you had an accident. Remember to 'set-the-scene', to have a clear middle, climax and end.

(Try to guess what the accident will be and where in the story it will happen)

Student: It was about 10 years ago, and I was working at at a famous company. The President was very old and sadly he died. As one of the managers, I had to deal with the press. So I met them, and answered their questions. Later that night I attended his wake, but it was dark and stormy and I forgot my umbrella. I got really wet from the rain but I made it inside and gave a speech. Afterwards in the toilet I noticed my, what do you call them?
(He points at his crotch, I hope he hadn't meant to)
Phil: Umm, what do you call what?
Student: You know, under your pe-nis*.
(He draws a quick sketch in his text-book)
Phil: Umm... your testicles.
Student: Yeah, i noticed they were large.
Phil: Ok...?
Student: I found out that my bowel had fallen into my testicles.
(I can't help but laugh at this point)
Phil: Really? What did you do? Go to the hospital?
Student: Yes, but I pushed it back up first.

Ok, firstly, why would he tell me this? Secondly, how random was the rest of that story. And thirdly, how big did they have to be to realise?!

I can't help myself. Fourthly, he pushed his bowel back up!!!

*pronounced peh-niss. They all call it that, I don't know why.