The Great Hollywood Cop-Out

In 1954 Richard Matheson wrote a fictional novel entitled "I Am Legend" about the last man on Earth, Robert Neville. Yesterday I happened to watch a film also called "I Am Legend", also about a man named Robert Neville. Completely coincidentally I assume, because the two are so unrelated and find themselves at opposite ends of the quality spectrum. Actually, there's a dog in both, so maybe not so different.

I happened to read the book in Tokyo last year, before I knew anything about the movie. Absolutely fantastic: tense, original, creative and disturbing, with an incredible ending. In fact, the last sentence is so astonishingly brilliant, which I'm sure anyone who has read it will agree.

So why could a movie, that really couldn't go wrong, go... so... terribly... wrong? There are bad movies, which are instantly forgettable, and then there are movies so baaad that they stick in your head and make you consider the death penalty as a valid option after all. This would rate in my top 3 (along with MatchPoint and Meet The Parents) as the scummiest crud of all time.

Films don't have to resemble the books; hell, Bourne shares the name and that's about it, but they are worthy in their own merit. Will Smith's adaptation, however, is banal.

The plot veers off track so quickly you forget that there actually is a story and then proceeds to contradict itself over and over again. The Point-Of-No-Return (I wish there wasn't) was such a contradiction that I stopped paying attention and started considering two things about Will Smith. Firstly, trying to guess the emotion he was construing in each scene, which all appeared to revolve around constipation, and secondly, trying to work out if he was actually noteworthy in any films. With the exception of Men In Black, no, not really.

And then the ending happens. Quickly. And pointlessly to the extent of insulting to the audience.

This is the greatest cop-out that any screenwriter/director/producer can decide on: the worthless self-sacrifice. This is becoming all too familiar to blockbusters and it fails nearly every time. Take the obvious example of Titanic; Jack really has no other choice if he wants to save Rose. But, and this is the very essence of a self-sacrifice, it is only worthy IF THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE. If all routes have been tried and there is no hope, then it is noble. Otherwise, it is either lazy, uncreative or a quick way to end a movie, especially if the budget is spiralling. In fact, there is another vampire movie out now - 30 Days Of Night - a much better effort which could have been great if not for exactly the same infuriating resolution.

As for the epilogue, those classic last words are twisted and manipulated so that they linguistically follow suit, but meaninglessly may as well have been "banana monkey banana".

At least the film remained true for one fact.

The dog died.